Tag Archives: jealousy

Me So Pretty!

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So, Samantha Brick. I know everyone has said everything, some of it serious, some of it hilarious, and all of it giving Ms. Brick the kind of internet notoriety that can help a writer’s career — which I guess was the aim when she wrote her recent Daily Mail column.

If you’ve been hiding under a rock or living in one of those benighted countries where there is no free wi-fi (Yes, I’m looking at you, France!), you may have missed Ms. Brick’s proverbial 15 minutes of fame. Seems the tall, thin and blonde Samantha has never been asked to be a bridesmaid, and her friends get really testy about their husbands’ fidelity whenever she is around. This, of course, she blames on her tall-, thin-, and blonde-ness, and the pettiness of her friends who cannot see past that to the wonderfully warm, caring person she actually is.

Uh-huh. Yeah. My first question was, well, if she’s so warm, caring and wonderful, why is she hanging with all these petty people who dislike her? (Well, that was technically my second question. But really, does “ooh, full of ourselves, much?” count?) Maybe, just possibly, could water have found its own level? Could Samantha be friends with all these shallow, self-centered women because she has a lot in common with them? Could her warm and caring real self possibly be buried under a whole lot of the very thing she is pointing out in other people?

The whole tone of the article seemed to be not just “oh, all those other women don’t like me because I’m so pretty,” but something more. Something insulting. Something like “all those other women don’t like me because I’m so much prettier than them.” For a person who doesn’t want us to judge people by their looks, Ms. Brick has no trouble pointing out that she is way better looking than the average woman. And average is, of course, what most of us are.

So Samantha tells the average reader “I’m prettier than you,” and then wonders why we don’t pick up on that whole wonderful warm and caring personality of hers. Um, no. Not the best way to win friends and influence people.

I think I can speak to this with some degree of authority, because I am quite unabashedly one of the average women that Samantha is prettier than. Okay, yes, there have been some internet attacks on exactly how pretty she is, but for our purposes, that isn’t the point. She is, in fact, tall, thin and blonde, and those attributes put her a good distance ahead of me in the pretty parade.

But while I am not ever, EVAH, gonna have airline pilots comping me on first class just cause I’m so darn cute, I do have some friends who could go there. Seriously, my friend — let’s call her Jodi — is one of those tiny little size four women who are nevertheless big where she ought to be, i.e., lips, hair, and boobs. She looks kind of like a prettier version of Julia Roberts. First time I ever saw Jodi, she was at a pool party, perched on the diving board in a red bikini, and I was sure I would hate her. Yes, I admit it — I judged her on her looks. But that only lasted until I started talking to her and found that she is a bright, caring professional woman with a killer laugh and a wicked sense of humor. Now, when I think of Jodi, I think of her personality way before I think of her looks. And frankly, I’ve never worried about my husband’s fidelity around her. Whether he is faithful to our marriage has a lot more to do with me, and with him, than it does with any third party.

But I’ve got to say, I’ve never had Jodi tell me, verbally or in any other way, that she has noticed the difference between our looks. I don’t think that her gorgeousness holds the prime place in her thoughts, any more than my relative lack thereof does in mine. Yeah, it’s there, if something draws it to her attention, but she’s a lot more than hair, lips and boobs.

So Sam, hon, while you’re looking in the mirror to congratulate yourself on your really, really great looks, take another look. A long hard one, and figure out what there is inside you, behind all the pretty. And if you start concentrating on that, you may get to be a bridesmaid yet.

Sent from my iPad