Tunesday: Know When to Fold ‘Em


I’m struggling with a decision here, kids. Don’t want to bore you with too much detail, but I’ve got something in my life right now that I’m really wrestling with.

As you go through life, the thing that once seemed perfect and irreplaceable becomes, with time and maturity, a little less valuable. I mean, as it turns out, I’m glad I didn’t marry Donny Osmond. (Sorry, Donny! One day I just realized I couldn’t respect a man with purple socks.)

Now, I don’t like to be a quitter. When I sign on for something, I’m in it for the long haul. After all, The Lord of the Far Junior College and I have been married 28 years!

But when something becomes more of a drain than you can support, when the joy is gone and the very thought of it fills you with dread, is it ok to jettison old baggage? If something that began as a helpful relationship turns toxic and sucks the happiness and creativity out of your life, should you kiss and say goodbye?

(No, sweetheart! Not you – a different, non-family type relationship. I’ll tell you later.)

So all week, I’ve been walking around humming Kenny Rogers’ THE GAMBLER. My question is, is it time to hold ’em or fold ’em? Should I walk away – or should I run?


7 responses to “Tunesday: Know When to Fold ‘Em

  1. Dang! I thought you were humming THe GAMBLER since it’s the name of my new book!

    Welcome to my club- I’ve been where you are for the last month and a half and as I seem to recall, you’ve been trying to talk me out of folding. If you fold, I’m not holding on any longer either.

    • No, the question is to walk away when my responsibilities have been handled or to run – as in, immediately.
      For right now, I’m leaning toward walking, but another conversation like that last one may tip the balance!

  2. Just don’t be alone and vulnerable again. Wait for someone to have your back or don’t go.

  3. Before you fold ’em, have a glass of wine…maybe a bottle. But don’t drink alone–call me. And take Jillian’s advice.

  4. I second the fair Jillian Chantal! Don’t go into battle if your army is otherwise engaged elsewhere. I have also considered abandoning ship regarding various relationships. Some I’ve stuck it out through my contracted obligation, others I’ve abandoned and faced the unpleasant consequences. Even this week, a toxic relationship has been severed…and you know what? I feel a great deal of relief! I don’t have to worry about how I will handle things the next time I see that person since it’s unlikely it will happen anytime within the next few years. I don’t have to play “fakey-nice-nice” with that person who has shown such disregard for my family. But when you’ve met your obligation to that toxic entity, don’t feel the least bit guilty if you choose to run and never look back. You won’t be alone.

  5. Don’t know the decision but my general rule is weight the pros, weigh the cons, consider long term and short term consequences of each. Not everything is black or white or forever. Will a middle of the road or a temporary rather than forever work? Regardless, do what you’re going to do with dignity, try not to burn too many bridges, and don’t cut off your nose to spite your face. I have your back, at least from a distance. Rita

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