“Where’s The Love?” Blog Hop: Hook, Line, and Sinker

Today I’m participating in the “Where’s The Love” blog hop, sponsored by my friend, the Fearless Leader of my crit group (I love you, SFWG!), Ms. Heather Webb.

Ms. Heather’s fabulous book, Becoming Josephine, will be published by Plume/Penguin in early 2014. And since it tells the story of how a young Josephine captured Napoleon’s heart, the girl knows her love scenes!!!

Y’all hop on over to Heather’s website, join in the Celebration of Love, and have a happy Valentine’s Day!!!

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In my WIP, Hook, Line, and Sinker, Emory is a city girl who unexpectedly ends up at a fish camp near the Florida-Georgia border. Against her will, she finds herself attracted to Gary, a hunting and fishing country boy with the heart of a Southern gentleman. In this scene, Gary has taken Emory out into the woods on his family’s property to see his special place, a magical, ancient oak tree.


As soon as he had spread the blanket out, he turned and lifted me down from my perch on the branch. “I want you. Right here. Right now. Out in the open, nothing hidden.”

Oh. Wow. “Me too. Right here. Right now.”

We sank together to the ground, under the magical fairy oak.

“What do you want, Emory?” He murmured between deep, soul-baring kisses. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you.”

“Where? How?” His lips burned a trail across my skin. “Tell me what you want.”

“You…. I don’t know.” I tried to catch my breath, but it was a losing battle. “I want you.”

I had done a lot of things in my life, but I had never made love out in the open air, with nothing but the branches of a tree for shelter. It was sweet and intimate and yet brazenly exposed.

Gary rose up over me, his face taut with concentration and — what? Love? Of course not. But as he looked down at me, his eyes somehow fierce and tender at the same time, I realized that I had done exactly what I had intended not to do. I had opened my heart to someone. To this funny, sincere, very real man. And I didn’t know how I was going to deal with that.

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20 responses to ““Where’s The Love?” Blog Hop: Hook, Line, and Sinker

  1. I don’t know what I love more about your snippet. The love your characters share and want to celebrate, or the way your incorporated the tree into the narrative. I do know you’ve done a great job with this scene and should be very proud of it.

  2. Oh, thank you, Jess! It was a fun scene to write.

  3. I agree with Jess. The tree is inspired, and I would love to see it play perhaps an even bigger role in their romance. Also, it would be nice (and hot!) if instead of him saying “Tell me…” Gary had said “Show me what you want.” Especially if Emory then does just that.
    Thanks so much for posting this lovely scene. I’d like to read more.

  4. I adore this! I’m already in love with the characters and I’m cheering for them to enjoy the “open air.” ❀

    • Thanks, Candie! It’s very much a work in progress, so I’m glad you like the characters. It’s a real stretch for Emory to do this — she’s a very restrained, proper kind of person. But with a guy like Gary — who wouldn’t?

  5. Very nice scene with a great ending that definitely piques my interest. My favorite line: “It was sweet and intimate and yet brazenly exposed.” I also love the use of the tree – it’ll be a great symbol throughout the story. Best of luck!

  6. I love this scene, Arabella!! πŸ™‚ Sexy and unique! I also dig Barb’s suggestion of pulling the tree more into the story–it can act as a symbol of sorts. Great idea there.

    My ONLY comment for tweaking would be to delete this line:
    β€œMe too. Right here. Right now.”

    Keep the “oh.wow.” and everything else. I say this because Emory then asks her what she wants, which comes off as redundant if she already says that line. I hope I’m making sense! lol.

    LOVE IT! Can’t wait to read this.

    • Thanks, Sweetie! I have some plans for more things to happen with the oak tree — you’ll just have to stay tuned!
      And thank you, oh great FL, for putting this lovely blog hop together. It’s been so much fun!!!

  7. Definitely sexy, Arabella. The characters bare themselves because it takes complete abandonment to make love out in nature. (Under the stars is special)
    She says that she has never done this before. Could you show how she physically feels? Like the idea of the tree taking role, like it’s watching, not like a voyeur, but a sense of standing in a sacred place that has ramifications down the road.

  8. I agree with everyone’s praise for this scene, and the suggestion to bring the tree to life a little more. One thing I also would have enjoyed is some small description of either the smell of making love in the open air, or the feel of the lumpy ground under their blanket, or something to keep me anchored in every sentence in the fact that this is a very vulnerable place your MC is in.

    — And — do it all in 250 words!! I realize that you may very well have what I’m wanting to experience in the next sentence… I’d love to read more!

    • Thanks so much, Donna! Yes, it needs a good bit more in the details, but it’s very much a first draft at this point. I’ll be incorporating your suggestions — love the idea of the lumpy ground under the blanket! And fingers crossed — maybe one day you will get to read more of it!

  9. Whoof!! Ha-cha-cha! I could feel the wind on their bare, glistening bodies, girlfiriend! Love it! Love the scene, the heat. All of it!

  10. I’m late to the comments — so thorough and thoughtful. Yes to bringing in more sensory details about the air, ground, seeing the ancient mossy tree overhead. The sound of cicadas? This scene made me want a funny, sincere and very real man like Gary. Lovely scene.

    • Thanks so much, Rae Ellen! Yes, I definitely need to add some more sensory details. Maybe I need to do a little field research, out under an old oak tree in the middle of the forest. With an appropriately hot escort, of course …

  11. Great scene, Bella! I’m going to have to take some lessons from you in order to spice up my staid little book. I like how Emory doesn’t know what to say when Gary asks her what she wants–shows how she really is new at this. I agree with the calls for more sensory details, but otherwise, wonderful!

  12. This is a good start.

    I agree with everyone else about the need for more details. I felt like I was being rushed through the scene, and especially if, as you say, the main character is not the type of girl who would ever consider this kind of thing under normal circumstances, rushing through the scene seems off. Take time to slow down and give us more for the senses. Let us feel her initial hesitancy and the slow-building tension that ultimately leads to her loss of inhibitions.

    Good luck with revisions! πŸ™‚

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